
~ { Andrew Wyeth "The Wind from the Sea" : windows evoke such mystery...psychological ambiguity...inside looking ot or outside looking in?...isolation...color pallete reflects mood...wind [blowing curtains] is the only sign of life...who, what , when ,where, why }
~
1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY
THINGS.
2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.....
3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS
AND APES?
5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE
SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
7. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH
SOAP?
8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL"?
11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN
ENDANGERED PLANT?
12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID
SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE
RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD
SIGNS?
20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER
PEOPLE.
22. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
23. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
24. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
25. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE
HUNGRY?
26. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
27. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD "LISP" TO HAVE "S" IN IT?
28. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF
ASSTEROIDS"?
29. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
30. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
31. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DOES HE
BECOME DISORIENTED?
32. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

...........